Club First Date....Where they do that at?

So I meet a lil cutie at the club...well that was the first mistake. He was 6ft and better, cold black like I like em with a body like I like em. So we have minimal conversation for about a week and not to my surprise we had nothing in common or any chemistry. Then he was like we should go out on a date. I have never been one to turn down free. So he rescheduled one time...red flag #2, he proceeds to ask me to go out with him at 11pm on U St. I was like what....I don't do club first dates homey. How are we suppose to talk or get to know each other if I can't even here you over the music? Oh I know because that was not your intention...I am not street puntang...lol! I have never been asked that in all my years of dating...I'm too old for that I like to do other things.

I haven't talked to him since was I wrong? Would you go on a club first date...why or why not?

Hey Can I TEXT You....(Texting vs. Calling)

I have noticed that when meeting guys nowadays when they ask for your phone number it is not to have an actual phone conversation but to TEXT you. One of the perks of texting a person you have just met are.....hmmm I will wait....that everything will be misinterpreted or you can put in a minimal amount of effort. I met this bouncer at a club over the weekend mind you I don't remember when the numbers where exchanged * see birthday boo post* and he text me the other day his life story.

Bouncer: Hey how are you?

Me: Fine and U?

Bouncer: Well whats your stats?

Me: Huh?

Bouncer: I'm 26, Divorced, One Son, play basketball, work all day and work the part time at the club, I like to work out

Me: Thanks for your life story but what happened to saying your doing fine

Bouncer: I hope you are not worried about my ex and the fact that I am divorced because we get a long well and have no problems so there is nothing to be worried about

I proceeded to no response mode. Now let's analyze this. He could have just been trying to be straight up with me from the beginning or was nervous about having that convo. Texting can make people BOLD because they can avoid having to think on their feet or that immediate reaction. Which is not the type of person for me. I don't know maybe I am a little old school but this is not a text conversation and a bit much. On top of that he clearly was not following the conversation.

This is a bit of an extreme case but in my conversations with people the word is out that many guys are opting to text rather than call especially with such things as

-I'm going to be late or I'm not coming home tonight

-Hey, how are you - that way they don't have to hear us ramble because we are not going to text everything that happened that day

and so on and so on.......How do you feel about texting vs. calling?

Sidenote to view funny texts check out www.textsfromlastnight.com

Country Boys Can't Dress

Yall know I love a country boy and I still do but one thing I've learned about them on my trip to Charlotte, NC is that they can't dress. The style was stuck in the 1990s. I'm talking sagging baggy jeans, long white tees...lol. Well clothes don't make the man but they also say you can't change people. So I would still date a guy if he had all the right qualities but not quite as stylish as I would like....Would You?

Calling All Birthday Boos on November 28th Buy Gifts!

Is it shallow to try to have a boyfriend or at least several strong candidates so that you can maximize the number of presents you will receive for your birthday? Normally I am on the self righteous tip when it comes to this type of stuff but during my birthday month all bets are off. Its all part of a system I've had since my college days. Summer time I usually play the field get a lay of the land which has been slightly more difficult here in the nations capital but then try to lock in at least one to two strong contenders by mid October so I can make my birthday push for presents. Also during Operation Birthday Presents I tend entertain calls from boos past as well as scooping out boos present and future. Those of you that know me know that I run a full campaign in regards to my birthday and always end up with tons of parties and presents.....(on that note any of you reading this please feel free to shoot me an email if you need an address or who to write a check out to for my fabulous b-day on Nov. 28th). I will admit this is very tricky ground to tread you have to be skillful at this especially if you want the present but not the boo. This goes double when dealing with an ex or dude from boos past. Well coming from a birthday pro who specializes in getting gifts the most important rule dubbed Rule Numero Uno is to not feel guilty if they want to buy you something and do not feel like you owe them something just because they do. Anyone who is my friend is required by terms of our friendship to acknowledge my bday and to give me a gift of some sort so it comes with the territory with me. By setting these expectations early you avoid all that and come of with more gifts which is the name of the game. Be aware some will try to use it as means to get back in and that is totally up to you. I say try your luck buddy but thank you for that box from Tiffany's because if I'm not dating you now it's probably for good reason. I will say all of that to say this November I am shallow and will not apologize for it the other 11 months I am not so there.....buy me gifts on NOVEMBER 28th!

Will you take gifts from a person who you know is feeling you but you are not interested?

Next Level....Too Soon!!

So I met this guy (we will call him Speed Dater) he seemed alright so we exchanged numbers. At this point everything was completely normal as it always is. Anyway we had literally one phone conversation where he went on and on and on about himself. You know the kind of conversation where you can't get a word in and for every one word you say that person goes on a two minute tangent. I'm pretty sure you all know what I was thinking.....FLAG ON THE PLAY! Well after that one way conversation he proceeds to text me the next day. Here is how the convo unfolds:

Speed Dater: I want to take things to the "Next Level"

Me: Clearly I don't even know you and you don't know me

Speed Dater: But we talked yesterday and I'm liking you

Me: You talked yesterday and don't you think that is a bit fast..have you seen that show "How to Catch a Predator" I don't know you.

Speed Dater: I am so OFFENDED by what you said. I can't believe you would think that. I am not like that....and on and on about how he was never on that show

Let's stop there I really didn't mean he was a pedophile well who knows but my point was that I don't know him to be talking about "next level" plus I thought it was funny. Clearly he doesn't get me sense of humor....probably because he doesn't know me. Needless to say I don't talk to him or he doesn't talk to me whatever the case maybe it doesn't bother me at all...lol.

Have you ever met someone who tried the "Next Level" rap to fast? What is the most outlandish thing you have said to get someone away from you?

There once was an OLD MAID....

So at times I have these fleeting thoughts that I will be an old maid with a house full of degrees and cats....and I don't even like cats. Don't get me wrong I am extremely confident in myself and career goals obviously because I'm kind of a big deal. However, I'm at that pivotal age (mid 20s for inquiring minds) where all of my friends are married, getting hitched, have little ones or at least shacking with their main squeeze. So when will it be my turn? All I meet are douche bags...hence the blog. Then again I really don't want to be married or have kids anytime soon. My day will come when my big country, 6ft and better, chocolate to caramel brown skin with a nice gig and passion for service, honest, caring, real comes along and probably get on my nerves. That is how I envision it. So I will close this random piece with...VIVA la SINGLE....OLD Maids R Hot...LOL!!!

Good Girls Finish Last

You have heard that old saying before but it is so true...Guys in DC who am I kidding guys across the globe always say they want a good girlfriend...the younger and sexier version of their mama with a little less nagging. Yet most men are not ready for a good girl...they would much rather have the bad girl who is full of drama but probably just scorned by men that she feels she has to behave this way with every man...that is a whole 'nother blog topic in itself. On the flip side I hear guys say all the time...women say they want a good man and then when they have one they don't know how to treat em. Well I do and I would like the option of meeting this so called "good guy"....point em out/point em out/point em out honey! I am right here...lol!

Be honest do you like Good Guys/Girls or the Bad Boy/Girl types?

"Georgia Ave" Boos

It's time for this blog to get DC specific...well I talk a lot about how I am booless in DC due to the limited options and here is another example of it. I work on a quaint little street Georgia Ave. It's one of those up and coming neighborhoods with Condos and Crackheads...Strip Clubs and Expensive Rowhouses...gentrification aside it never fails that I get hit on as I walk to work. I know what you are thinking....aren't you always talking about how their are no boos in dc...hence the blog but if you are getting hit on every day what is the problem? Well the problem is I get hit on by men over 50 posted up outside the liquor store with 3-5 teeth in their mouth. Now don't get me wrong I am not the one to put anyone down but let's just say that is not my type. I prefer guys my age, with teeth, who work, and don't smell like pee mixed with E & J. I mean you would think attention would boost one's self esteem however in fact this type of attention can send one's self esteem in the opposite direction...LOL!

There are other neighborhoods in DC notorious for this kind of homeless drunk man macking? Adams Morgan for one...Have you ever been hit on by...and I mean this with love an elderly homeless person? If so, when and where...dish the scoop.

Can we "Get Together"?

So I was chopping it up with one of the homies and we got into an insightful discussion about the phrase "can we get together?" Like most things this can have several connotations...it can mean:

Lets go hold hands in the park

Let's study at the library

Go on a nice date

*Oochie Wally Wally Oochie Bang Bang

So he was saying when he makes this type of vague statement he never really knows what the girl wants and I assume he is open for any of the options above. The flip side to this is that when guys make such vague statements why do they get mad when you ask for clarity? Like all we are suppose to say is Yes...and be all knowing when he makes a move cuz he was thinking Oochie Wally Wally...sheesh....lol. So whenever you hear a vague statement like "can we get together"....u better find out what together he is talking about because you never know! Sidenote: Chances are he doesn't know either...lol!

E-Pimpin....I mean Online Dating

It has gotten so bad that so many people nowadays are turning to the internet to find their boo. I've had a quite a few friends that have met some decent guys online...but for some reason I am not with it...but I may have to it's not like you can meet a guy on the metro, grocery store, club, library, church...you get my point. It's getting hard to meet boos in the street but I still feel like meeting them online will come with the same type of BS. Another reason I am not feeling online dating is that I am not trying to pay to meet boos...its a recession.

What do you think....online dating the wave of the future? Is it a worthy investment? Should I get with the times? Are you an E dater...what are the pros and cons?

EYE CANDY

So men can be on a constant search for the model-video chick. Spend all types of money and quality time to woo her and yet they expect us to "commoners" to be happy to deal with them when they don't look nothing like Tyson Beckford. What is that about? I mean I would be shallow if I said I want a man with a six pack and perfectly toned skin but men do it all the time. Most women will take a half way decent looking brother if his personality is on point but guys yall be frontin!!! Oh you want the regular girl until you think you have a shot wit some model chick with whom you later find out is LOCO...lol! Woman aren't suppose to be too thick heck even some of my extra skinny sisters are even having a hard time nowadays cuz they don't have that video girl booty. It's messed up well in 2009 two can play that game...I want some eye candy too..that's right if you don't look like Maxwell you need not apply....you better be able to sing like em too....lol

Naw but what do you think about this topic...Are people just really shallow nowadays? Would you date someone that you didn't necessary look like they were on a cover of a mag?

Country Boys vs. City Boys

Which is better to date..A country boy/girl or a city boy/girl? I typically like to date country boys because I am country and its what I am most familiar with. They both have great qualities...Country boys know how to cut the grass, detail and maintain your car, and have that southern drawl and good old southern values. City boys know how to hustle (which can be good or bad), navigate mass transit and have that ill accent and swag. There are strengths and drawbacks to both. One of my homeys put it best do you want a man with money or a haystack..lol! Either way all I want him to be is on his GROWN MAN.

But I'm curious what do u think....which is better to date a country boy/girl or city boy/girl?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJ7js1Y85VM

Metro Pimpin

You can't even pimp on the Metro....dudes are so standoffish...they will give you that act like I'm not looking at you look...you know what I'm talking about...the "look-away". However my gay man friend gets plenty of play on the metro* which could be why metro pimpin aint working for me. Maybe its because its an unwritten rule that you can't talk on the train. Whatever it is the dudes that seem to talk to me on the train are out of towners looking for the right metro stop or bums asking for change. It's a shame because I see some cuties..how can I break the code of silence? Which lines are poppin (clearly not the yellow line) ? I'm trying to tighten my metro pimp game up any suggestions....this is an untapped resource.

*re: earlier post on large gay population limiting pool of available men

Best City for Singles My Arse...

Forbes has the nerve....the audacity to say that DC is ranked #5 best cities for singles.....WHAAATTT....If that was the case there would be no reason for this very blog....you know the one titled booless in dc...yeah thats the one....the pool is limited....don't let the article fool ya! Check it out and let me know what u think?

http://www.forbes.com/2009/07/24/best-cities-singles-lifestyle-singles-online-dating.html

Watch Out For The Big Girls....

It can be hard knock life on the dating scene if your a thick girl because guys act like they don't want a big girl in public but they want to lay up wit a big girl. *Let me back track most men....they're are some straight up brother who can appreciate a real women in curves. However in DC, the land of materialism and show stopping....the decents ones want these video/model chicks. It goes both ways because I do like a 6ft and better brother and tend to date the slim jim type...maybe I should show the big poppas some love and get me a little teddy bear to keep me warm....hmmm...things to ponder. Thick brothas and sistas need love too!

Why are men/women so caught up on the superficial? Is physical appearance really that important at the end of the day?

Watch out for the big girl

Black Bachelorette

So after watching the Bachelorette and any other reality dating show maybe the key to me meeting a suitable "suitor" in the District of Columbia is to have a reality show...but since the likelihood of that happening is slim to none...Maybe I will just host a fake audition for hot guys for some new dating reality show then after I meet a cutie with a job....say the show is cancelled....LOL!!! I guess that is building a relationship on lies but that would be FUN.....WHOSE WITH ME?

Your thoughts??????

Bridezillas

I don’t know if many of you are all familiar with the WETV show Bridezillas…its hilarious yet depressing. So I was watching it on Sunday and I realized that these women have serious emotional and mental issues and they were about to Jump The Broom so to speak. WHOOOOAAA!!!! Even though its reality TV I am a completely sane, emotionally and mental stable….and sexy so why do I find myself booless in DC lol…what is wrong with that picture? All in All its great TV and kind of makes you feel better about yourself….I know that’s wrong.

* I do recognize that the divorce rates are high for this very reason

Episode 7 Freakout Moment - Featured - WE tv Videos - WEtv.com

Bridezillas Episode 7 Freakout Moment - Featured - WE tv Videos - WEtv.com

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Let Me Buy You A Drank

The problem is Aint Nobody buying no drinks anymore. Maybe its just me…Maybe I am getting older and look as though I can afford my own drinks….Maybe it’s the Recession. But what happen to the days when a sista could go to the club with no money and was guaranteed a free drink. The days when you didn’t even have to give out her number…just have a light convo for a long island. Man, it used to be nothing for my girls and I to go out and get free drinks from guys who just wanted to seem like they were ballin. Let me be the first to say I miss u fake balla guy….we need you now more than ever. The only way I can get a free drink is say its my birthday or go with one of my homies. I know its hard times but if you can’t stunt in the club and buy me and my girls drinks what r u living for? This ran across my mind last night while I was in out and I know its IGNORANT…tomorrow we will be back to our regular scheduled program!

What do u think?

Sugar Daddies/Cougars

Why Lord Why do Men over 40 insist on trying to date young girls!! It is not cool...to make it plain....its a Flag on the Play!!! My girl was in the gas station and Gramps asked her "How old do I look" Being nice she said "40" He gave her a full on sensual hug (not the respectable church hug) and said "Thank you cuz I'm actually 50"......TIMEOUT!!! Don't be tryin to cop a feel Rufus!

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with having a Sugar Daddy or Cougar...Do You Boo. Hopefully they giving you whatever you like and not one of them busted O.Gs with 7 kids. I do understand that there is a significant learning/maturity curve for guys. If a guy was born before '77 I can't get wit it. Being Live at 25 I would date a guy about 5-7 years older than me beyond that it kinda freaks me out.

What do you think about Sugar Daddies/Cougars? What is the oldest you would date a person?

Bug A Boo

So its not just the ladies experiencing dating woes in the DMV. My homeboy told me he met this young girl around 20 (he is 24) at a neo soul concert. She was peeping him and followed up with her girl later about him. Well they exchange numbers and go on an initial date. So he said the date was alright but she was a little pushy. Well he told her the next day he would be really busy and to make a long story short she called him 6 times and 4 texts the very next day. After about the 3rd call he picked up and told her he was busy and she called 3 more times after that. Based on the Bug A Boo tactics she pulled he ended up telling her they should be just friends further crushing her dreams and she proceeded to still call. I told him at this point he needed to go into No Response Mode!

I think we can all agree that was TOO MUCH!!! Or to give her the benefit of the doubt maybe because of the booless epidemic she didn't know what to do when she peeped a decent guy. Nonetheless, first rule of the game is to never appear desperate (I often use my art of war tactics when dating...lol). But it raises a good question how much do you expect a person to call you when you are in the getting to know you phase or full out dating?

When I am dating a person I expect to speak to them at least once a day(not several) it doesn't even have to be a long drawn out conversation it can be just a simple "hey how r u doing"...is that too much to expect? I don't think so but what do you think?

No Response Mode

* WARNING: When used properly No Response Mode is Guaranteed to keep away all Douchebags, Scrubs, Losers of all sorts. Patent still pending approval.

Every now and then a guy slips pass all of the flags you’ve thrown and you decide to date/talk to him. I find in my case this was mostly out of loneliness or boredom….DMV gets very dry at times hence the blog. I find that it doesn’t take long for them to mess up….like you find out their crazy, don’t have hopes or dreams, have a girlfriend or my pet peeve….no opinions about anything (is it wrong to want to have decent conversations or intellectual debates….I didn’t think so( that’s a whole other topic for another day). It's harsh but true hence the PANDEMIC. All in All you find out the person you’re dating is a douchebag so you have to get rid of them but they have your number and insist on calling.

Here is how you handle this first you can tell him that its not working out for you or your too busy to focus on a relationship….you know we have all the excuses down to a science like the classic “its not you its me speech” and then you put them on no response mode….that means you don’t call them, you ignore their calls, texts and emails. I find this to be even more effective than the speech because everyone understands that ignore button. The key is you have to be consistent and cutthroat. Men are resilient and masterful. They will play along and not call you until some random day three months later….I’ve even known guys to call up to a year later talking bout how they have changed and want to start anew….that is totally up to you. I know when I place someone on No Response Mode there is no coming back. If so you have to come back extra strong.

In addition No Response Mode is also a great way to get over an ex…..oh I have used it and found that it can work as quick as 3 days….u know anything can happen in 3 days….Jesus rose from the dead for Christ sake *(I apologize in advance if that was offensive to anyone) .

Overall, I highly recommend No Response Mode for dealing with Douchebags it‘s proven and effective!!!

Using Fake Names/Childhood Nicknames in the Club

We have all done and we have all heard it....someone using a fake name or going by their childhood nickname in the club. Here is a scenario that just played out last week when I went to the bar:
Random dude: You need to give me ur phone number
Me: What? I don't even know u.
Random dude: My name is Worm
Me: (Puzzled look) Huh? What is on your birth certificate?
Worm...lol: Romeo but they call me Worm because of my dreds and its short for Wormhead
Me: I'm good Worm...u have a good night.

* This convo could also be filed in worst pick up lines

Now I try to give my brothers a chance but if you are over 21 you can't be going by these childhood or random nicknames in the club. I can't take you seriously....I'm talking PeeWee, Boo, Boogey, NuNu, Knuck Knuck, Young Anything...none of that. It's 2009 fellas time to be on your grown man and it starts with giving your real name in the club.

Now Ladies we do this too. You all know how it is, you and your girls riding in the car on the way to the club deciding what your names are going to be for the night. You all have to agree on the names and practice it so everyone knows. I could never do it especially if I had a few sips....one of my girls would be calling some random name and I wouldn't respond. So I always opt to use my real name. So ladies leave the fake names for the youngun's its 2009 if you don't want to give the dude you name just don't talk to him....problem solved why go through all the trouble.

What do you think about this subject? Do you prefer to give out a fake name/go by your nickname in the club....if so why?

Flag on the play

So my new thing is to tell guys when they do or say something crazy "Timeout...Flag on the play" (Shouts out to Corey for the phrase). Its hilliarious...try it. Say you are in the club and a guy is feeling all on your booty or talking to you wreckless throw up the T for timeout and say Flag on the play. Then use any call u want you can tell him Holding, Offsides, Personal Foul, Unnecessary Roughness or just eject him from the game all together. Its even funnier if you actually do the hand signals for the calls. Guys are into sports so they understand these terms.

Now on the flipside the guy may have a newfound respect for you and be intrigued that you know ur sports so you have to stay consistent as a referee. If they don't get the point I tell him that's a 10 yard penalty or half the distance to the goal so they can give me some space. They tend to get the point. The look on their face is priceless....its too funny.

So the next time you meet someone you don't want to talk or they say something off the wall simply tell them "Timeout...Flag On The Play"!

Check out this link for a list of calls with the hand signals:
http://www.ehow.com/how_5023776_identify-referee-signals-football.html

Worst Pick Up Lines

Over the past week this is what I was told:

"Why u acting like you don't know me girl? I said "What...How do I know u?" "Girl we used to play dodgeball in high school" I looked at this dude like you can't be serious and in my mind Im like we didn't even play dodgeball at our HS cuz it was hood and that would surely start a fight. So I just laughed and rolled my eyes and he said Im just playing Im a pimp and walked away. He said wait for me here. I moved with the quickness.....What part of the game is that?

What is the worst pick up line u have ever heard or used?

Booless in DC...The Movement

Well when I arrived in DC some 2 years ago I never realized how difficult and hillarious the dating scene would be in the Nation's Capital. It seems as though most men fall into three categories:

1. The "I just want to sleep with you when I feel like it no commitment" guy or "I don't really have a job" guy
2. The "I'm too cool for you because I have an important job and woman are falling all over me" guy
3. The "I'm not sure if I'm gay" guy *

Now I am sure there are other categories but this is what I seem to run into in the DMV. These encounters make for funny stories but can also be depressing as I think about it as an epidemic....no PANDEMIC sweeping the nation. I know that there are good guys out there but one has to admit that in 2009 there is a diminishing pool of available men that do not fit into these categories.

Ur thoughts? What other types of guys do you run into? Men what types of females do you run into?

* Gay man friends are the best to have they provide alot of worthy advice on the dating scene